i mean... i knew it! i did... but - i forgot!
So My journey home for Christmas - get to Euston station in London, after a hectic week of delays and cancellations the lines of hot tempered people were plenty and across the board were the words Delayed.....!
But thank goodness i knew these things so arrived at the station 2 hrs early!!
i made it on an earlier train... as soon as the platform number went up on the screen, a huge crowd of mostly Irish ran as fast as they could to the train! My suitcase was ridiculously heavy from presents.... must learn how to pack lighter!
It was funny sitting on a train from London packed full of Irish accents.
I sat back during the 5 hr train journey and listened to the culture and people i used to know so well.
With the Irish it is as if you've known each other for years! They find something in common with the other (mainly complaining about the current situation), as they f and blime over this particular annoyance they have a great laugh - definitely a drink, and turn the negative into something fun to shout about!
As i traveled on the train i met some great Irish who'd come to London to study or just get out of the 'hole' that is Ireland!
But generally 'we miss the deadly buzz of the Irish" said a guy on the train! He said we're all so 'f****in deadly'!!!
yup - gotta love the Irish!
As we all got off the train and waited in the cold small, boat waiting area, i shared my crisps with a guy from Ireland and watched the rest of the clann settle into chairs and onto the ground were drinking and loud 'banter' became the highlight of that remote freezing waiting room!
Everyone had something to shout about and complain about - which meant everyone became friends! And cheersed each other for the 'f****in' situation they were in - 'a whole arse load of travelling'!!
I know i said the 'f' word was practically part of the Irish language - but actually, after my trip I know it to be true!!!
(I had to stop typing for a second as I thought i heard the cows going mad outside!- but in fact its a bunch of drunken Irish singing carols!!)
Anyway - back to the journey.
As I got on the boat i found a space in a corner , settled myself down and tucked my bag under my head - it was 2.30am and everyone was just drinkin cause they couldn't sleep.
I slept for about 3 hours until an old drunk lady sat on my head! Yup!
I sat straight up and figured out what just happened, she was about 50 completely drunk and as her friends said ' Mary you have a huge white arse'!
So as I woke up and watched this lady take a resting position in front of me all i could see with my sleep eyes was in fact her huge saggy white arse!
This then became the event of the morning (5-7am) as i adjusted to being awake i was entertained by these 3 individuals talking to Mary the huge white arsed drunk and tellin her to cover it up cause i (me) didn't want to be lookin at it this early in the morning!!
I could not stop laughing as her only words were ' f**k off ' or 'you have a fat f***in mouth' f this f that, but she was sooo drunk she couldn't even speak properly!
When she sat up she stared at me and suddenly realised she was not in her own bed at home but on a boat publicly displaying her 'fat arse' to me!
She took a double look and said 'Jesus I f***in thought i was at home'!
The morning continued with her then wanting another drink, which thank goodness her friends refused to 'fuel that'!
She asked me to buy one for her, which i refused, but kindly offered her some of my celery - she refused- told me to 'f**k off'!!
She kept looking at my mouth and told me to open up, how did i get such 'f***kin white teeth'?
She said ' I lost my 2 front teeth - f**kin left them at home'!! It was true, she had left them at home!
She wanted mine, but i told her no!
Sweet Mary has 11 kids, apparently all boys, 10 grandchildren and 5 great grand children! her father just died so she was pissed (drunk)...so she told me.
At 7am we finally got to Dublin port and everyone waited eagerly to get off the boat. We all laughed at random comments made in the queue, different things about the 'f**kin deadly Irish' or how no one wanted to ' wait any f**in longer on this feckin arse of a boat' etc....!!
We are a fouled mouthed dirty race - but i tell ya- the Irish are a great laugh!!!!
Welcome home!
HOME!!
Dad met me at the boat and we drove back to Castlecomer creeping along the roads because of all the snow and ice.
Everything is coated in white here and it is absolutely beautiful! The sun as it rises and sets has been leaving this magnificent orange, pink and purple glow along the top of the hills and fields, against the white this is a stunning sight! I love this time of year!!
On our way to church this morning we got stuck driving up a hill! All 5 of us had to get out and try to push the car up the hill, although we were all in heels or generally no-grip shoes, so pushing was near to impossible in our Christmas best! We eventually got the car up the hill and we all jumped in and slid along the road to the church! A site to see, but not an uncommon event for the Stewart family!
When we got to the church the Dean told us he had to leave his car running during the service as the starter was tempermental and he had to get to Galway (west of Ireland) after the service!!
We all went sledging after dinner, even the parents joined in in the festivities and dad was a trooper, he shouted and laughed out of fear all the way down the hill almost causing mini avalanches! 1 time was good enough for him!
Mum trained Auntie Sophie how to let loose and sledge down a baby hump! Well done Soph!!
Well that's all from me for now!
Merry Feckin Christmas to you all!!!!
